


To Carry What You Cannot Hold

by Shiren



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Brothers, Dysfunctional Family, Friends to Lovers, I guess if you call questioning the crests a lil political??, M/M, Moral Dilemmas, Other, Political Intrigue, some tags may change, we talk about our feelings here like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiren/pseuds/Shiren
Summary: Trauma, opulence, and the ability to begin anew.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 5





	To Carry What You Cannot Hold

Blood is a weapon of lineage.

If the vein diverged from the heart, it was better to sever its bloodline than to let it live its reign. If you hesitated, let the wound fester longer than it should, it would become gangrene and threaten sepsis upon the entire body.

That rot stretched throughout the entirety of Sylvain’s childhood, like death immemorial. There was no grave where he stood but a reflection of a corpse staring back at him, the gaping maw of a hungry jealousy. He sat in its throat, resisting to sate its monstrous hunger.

He wished at times, his blood wasn’t pricked. That Miklan and him were born of the same love their parents coupled with. The day he’d been born was the day their blood had split. His blood spilled of a Crest and his brother… well, it was stained with red mortality.

“You cannot protect those you love with just your hands,” His father had said to Sylvain, eyes of hard amber, jaded. “A Crest is strength embodied in spirit and in blood. There is a reason the Goddess smiled upon those who bore the weight to carry one.”

The weight not to carry a Crest, not its legacy, but the divide that cut borders into brotherhood. At such youth, he couldn’t see what peace had been broken. All he could see was Miklan, his own kin, despise him to the core--right down to the unjust blood beating in his broken heart.

Where he’d put his hand out, Miklan would slice his wrist. If Sylvain bared his neck, he’d choke him. If Sylvain handed him the sword, he’d impale him right to the hilt.

Sylvain had to sleep with one hand resting on the handle of a dagger under his pillow, flinching at the sounds outside his room. Even when days grew bitter and hot, he’d keep his windows shut and fought tireless battles of sleep. It wasn’t Miklan who’d live this beast like rage to kill and brutalize him. It was the second death that came after birth, the cursed blessing of a Crest, that stole his own brother.

_Miklan…_

He couldn’t sleep, not like this. When sleep would cradle his consciousness, he’d meet Miklan and his father awaiting him. His father would gently take his shoulders with tender care, smiling vacantly as he repeated the same mantra.

_Sever the thread. Sever the thread. Sever the thread._

_You must. You must. You must._

Miklan would be gurgling blood, the Lance of Ruin an extension of his stomach, glinting through gore. Sylvain wanted to run to him but his father would keep him in place with a grip that turned into a vice, cracking through his armour and crushing bone.

Sylvain shuddered, sitting up on his bed.

Could he really kill his brother…?

For every dream that would end in him seeing his brother perish, five more would arise in all the ways his brother would murder him. It made him all the more vigilant but still, the haunting memory of his body drenched in blood, made his hands all the more heavy. He knew it was foolish to contemplate his enemy’s demise but when the face of your enemy was once in time not… well, was it really so much to consider what could come of his grave? It already felt like his ghost was already haunting him, his shoulders slumping inwards.

_When you meet his eyes… what would you say?_

Sylvain could not answer a simple question in the night nor at the wake of dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to see some... I guess backstory for their relationship and a little fraction of impact it would bear upon Sylvain... honestly don't know where I'm going with this but I have a ROUGH idea. Hopefully this was a good start.


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